Rodney Dangerfield Funniest Jokes

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Thu Jan 14, 2016 2:01 pm

Just getting this started... something for the old dudes.

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Thu Jan 14, 2016 10:15 pm

"He called me a baboon, he thinks I'm his wife"
From Caddyshack.

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Fri Jan 15, 2016 10:23 am

Love Rodney! ... jokes.html

I'll tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!

With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.

I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor. They sent a priest up to talk to me. He said, "On your mark..."

One day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy...why are you doing that for?" He said, "Because you came home early."

Last week my tie caught on fire, some guy tried to put it out with an axe.

I came from a real tough neighborhood. I bought a waterbed and found a guy at the bottom of it

I came from a real tough neighborhood. In the library the sign says "shut the f..k up"!

My wife had her drivers test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.

My wife's a great driver, she once hit a deer. It was in a zoo.
There are a pair of shoes on the dashboard. they belong to the last guy she hit

My cousin's gay, I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the fruit section.]Image

Back in L.A.!
Ignore list of clowns: Safety Putz, Massengil, 24/7RammedFag, Vinny the vegetable.

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Fri Jan 15, 2016 2:45 pm

Rodney is hilarious! I saw Rodney in his club in New York in 1979. He is one of the best comedians of all time.

"My wife drove the car into a tree. She said it wasn't her fault. She honked."

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Fri Jan 15, 2016 9:48 pm

"I called suicide prevention, they put me on hold..."

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Sun Jan 17, 2016 8:57 pm

My wife tells me she wants to have sex in the back seat of the car...... and she wants me to drive !

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